Sunday, January 11, 2015

Love your body


For months before the wedding, I obsessed about my body. Not because I didn't think the dress would fit, but because I knew that since we were having a destination wedding in a tropical location, I'd be in a bikini quite a bit. My friends kept telling me that I looked great and I didn't need to worry about that. I just felt that they were being nice and I insisted in continuing my efforts by working out harder and dieting. I travel a lot for work and it becomes extremely difficult to eat right while I'm on the road, but I still kept on. I changed restaurant orders to no carbs and more veggies, little to no alcohol, absolutely no sweets and working out really hard at the hotel gyms or doing T25 in my room. 
As the wedding date approached, I noticed that I hadn't been losing any weight but I felt stronger, healthier and had muscle definition, but I still wasn't satisfied. I had to take a step back and take a deep look at myself to understand what exactly it was that I'd been trying to achieve with this hard work. Am I trying to look good for me or for others? Then I just accepted. I accepted that this is my body and I am beautiful. I can't compare myself to other women who work out for a living. This doesn't mean that I'm giving up my fitness goals and stop working at them, I just decided that I love myself the way I am and I wouldn't let anything stand in the way of feeling beautiful on my wedding day or any day, for that matter. I promised myself that I won't allow it to get to the point of feeling sad or angry because I don't look like I belong on the cover of a fitness magazine. This is the body I've worked hard for. We can always do better, work harder, eat healthier, but I will not beat myself up or slander my own body image.

Durante meses antes de mi boda, estuve obsesionada con mi cuerpo. No porque sentía que el traje no me fuera a quedar bien, sino porque sabía que iba a estar en playa y el bikini iba a ser el uniforme de la semana. Mis amistades me decían que me veía bien y que no me tenía que preocupar por eso. Yo pensaba que me estaban tratando de consolar y yo insistí en continuar mis esfuerzos haciendo ejercicios más fuertes y haciendo dietas. Yo viajo mucho por mi trabajo y se hace extremadamente dificil mantener esa rutina, pero traté. En los restaurantes pedía doble porción de vegetales, cero carbohidratos, poco a ningún alcohol, nada de dulces y haciendo ejercicios fuertes en el gym del hotel o el programa T25 en mi habitación.
Se acercaba la fecha de la boda y no había rebajado casi nada, pero me sentía más fuerte, más saludable y con buena definición muscular, pero aún no estaba satisfecha. Tuve que mirarme en el espejo, y mirar profundamente para tratar de entender cuál era exactamente mi meta. Estoy tratando de "verme bien" para mi o para los demás? Entonces acepté. Acepté que este es mi cuerpo y que yo soy bella. No me puedo comparar con mujeres que trabajan en su físico como carrera. Esto no significa que hecharé a un lado mis metas de ejercicios, simplemente es que decidí amarme como soy, y que nada me iba a hacer sentir menos bella en el día de mi boda o ningún otro día. Me prometí que no iba a permitirme llegar al punto de sentirme triste o enojada porque no me gusta como me veo. Este es el resultado de mis esfuerzos. Siempre podemos mejorar, trabajar más fuerte, comer más saludable, pero no me voy a volver loca y jamás calumniar a mi propio cuerpo.







Shot by Abel A. Concepción and Franly Reynoso

What I wore/ Llevaba puesto:
Bathing Suit: Asos
Body chain: Sammy Dress
Hat: SteinMart

7 comments:

  1. Love this post and love your bathing suit!

    Mel
    http://girlandthepolkadot.blogspot.com/

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  2. This is a well-timed post for me! I've been struggling with body-image issues really badly, lately. I think everyone who is familiar with the fashion scene is at a higher risk for that, too, you know?

    Anyway, this post is not about me--it's about YOU!!! :) And, girl, you DO look fabulous!! It's a stylish suit on a beautiful girl, and the accessories and setting are perfection, too!

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    Replies
    1. Hi! Thank you for your kind words! I actually think that this post isn't just about me. I know there are millions of women who struggle with body image constantly and I agree with what you say about us bloggers. We're putting it all out there for the world to see and sometimes people can be really mean, which totally feeds those insecurities. I think that we need to love and accept ourselves the way we are and be strong enough to not let people's comments hurt us or make us fall into harmful or unhealthy behaviors. I love fitness and eating right, but all within limits, obsessions aren't healthy. Thank you for reading my post. I hope that I can inspire others to practice some self-love!

      Xo
      Jeanie

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  3. Hi Jeanie,

    Thanks for your message on IFB. I recently went through the same thing with my wedding in September last year. But you know what, you really have to love your body and being stick thin really isn't everything. Hope you had an amazing wedding though!

    Please stop by my newly launched website :)

    Helen
    http://CH1K.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really love this post ! You look gorgeous and I love your suit !!
    xx
    http://ohdebow.com/one-day-malta/

    ReplyDelete